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Sabtu, 21 Mei 2016

A mystical hole that i keep falling for


I remember it precisely. I don't wanna be in that hole again. A hole that trap me. Hold me. Caught me in a place full of happiness, sadness, madness.
There's always rainbow after rain.
There's always a sun of ray in the middle of cloudy days.
There's always a hope in every broken dreams.
But can you save me in this horrifying dreams that i don' t know when will end.
Can you save me?
Hold my hand and save me from that hole.
Before i fall.
Unconditionally.. unplanned. I already fell into it.
A sweet unresistable trap that caught me when i already lose it. There's no potion, no medicine for it.
I wish there is. So i can just swallow the medicine and forget everything i remember why i fall in that hole, all the trembled feelings crumbled upon me.
All the sweetness before i know the bitterness
You gave me sugar before i knew the taste of real coffee.
Before i knew. I already lose it.
I fell in again.
Over and over again.
When will it stops?
And eventually i already swimming in my own hopes, expectation and dreams.
People say "Don't get your expectation too high. You will fall hurtly and deeply if it doesn't exceed your expectation".
I guess i didn't listen to them.
Like a broken glass who already fall into pieces. I try to pick up the pieces one by one. I pick the piece and hold it up in my arm. Piece by piece. It hurt.
I just realized when i pick it, my hand starts to bleed. The sharpness at the end of the pieces causing my hand to bleed. Even though it hurt, i still try to pick all of it.
Put it back into pieces my self.
Maybe try to glue it?
It will temporary get better.
It will
But to make it all better
Like the original before
Like before it was broken.
You can't.
You can't do that.
Its already broken what do you expect?
Do you think its like your writing on the whiteboard? Or notes? They all have eraser. You got it wrong, you erase.
No they don't work like that.
Once again. I try to climb up from the hole.
Save me.
Hold me tight.
But sometimes something underground keeping me in that hole.
I try to resist but i can't.
I don't want but i would.

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