Accept that not every friend will last.

Since childhood seeing a long life best friends on movies or film i was inspired and envy by them. Take an example like Totally spies, the very first english cartoon that i watch and always watch throughout my childhood. Alex, Sam and Clover are the main characters and they've been best friends since elementary school and were inseparable. I want to have a relationship like them a very good friendship relationship that last long.
Just imagining i'm still with my elementary school friends throughout college and we mostly knew about each other, even though our school are separated we often calls or text, they're loyal, when they're sad i come to them vice versa.

Until know i still trying to maintain my friendship with the people who i called 'Best Friend' and even though it's hard i still try my hardest to maintain it. Maintaining a friendship is almost the same as maintaining a relationship. Some will get bored, some will always reject every hangout that i plan, and sometimes it's a one sided love... i really want to maintain the friendship bond while he/she just... feeling plain about it or doesn't really care about it.

And that is hard. Sometimes i even priorities my old best friends (elementary school nor middle school) over my high school friends, but for my old best friend... they priorities they're new best friends...

Yes i get it. The new ones are fresh, you never saw them never knew them personally so it's fresh to meet and get close to them. Plus the new best friends on high school is the friend who you meet like 12 hour everyday for 5 days of school so i get why it's easier to communicate and vent. But it's not like we can't meet our old best friends too right? after school or on weekend?

I personally would and can meet my old best friends on weekend or after school, just hanging out or personally talking and i wouldn't mind. Also, for the sake of maintaining or friendship.

But now days..

I don't even know what 'best friend' is.

Accept that not every friend will last.

I bump into this video on Youtube a while ago, and it made me open my eyes a bit and make me think a lot.

Yes, we can't expect somebody to change in one day, we can't expect somebody to love all what we do, and we can't expect that every friend we have will be there for us forever.

Friends come and go.
And there are a lot of typical friends that you have or has. Because everybody has different character so does friend.
Friends that will go through every single bit of your life,
Friends that only come when they have problem,
Friends that we are rarely talk but once we hangout it's a party for sure,
Friends that just... in class,
Friends that actually a stranger,
and many more.

I've been pushing myself so hard trying to maintain a friendship that i already have i even risk it that i don't want to build up new friendship unless the old one is already in a good balance. But...
If it's only one sided then it's hard and not healthy as well trying to push a relationship that the other side doesn't want it as well...
It's like your trying to fix and maintain a relationship with your partner but your partner doesn't even care about you doesn't bother you.

So i stop.

And let god do the rest.

I still try to maintain my friendship with my old best friends like chatting with them and hanging out with them at least once every month but i won't force myself or trying to softly force my 'best friends' and stop harming myself nor blaming myself for the problem that i am even not in fault.

So at 18 years old.

I knew.

But i lost my way of believing 'best friends'