N . A

 #np 23-25/12 Playlist For once, i don't want it to be just in a dream.  I don't want it to disappear when i woke up and only remember half of it. That date, That day, That night, i try to forgot all the reality that comes in my life, the consequences of the action. the thoughts that been flowing on my mind lately. I just want it to forgot, even for a bit. I know i'm just jumping into the same hole.  The same one like years years ago. But now i'm more prepared.  Even though i stumble. Even though i ran through a rocks. I could cry my way up and pull myself back up while smiling.  As the darkness comes by, as if my alter ego has conquer me. I began to seek for the journey. It was my first time so i was just doing as i should be, following the lead. I was always a curious person. and people say i'm an ambitious person, but also full of adventure. This is the adventure that i never experience before.  I was hesitant for a bit to let out all of me, but how? How could i

 Think of me. I want you to think of me. Keep me in your mind 24/7. Let me inside your mind. Traveling and haunted in your past and your future. Your day and your night. Think of me every single day. Remember all that memories. All the things you imagine me doing. All the scenarios that you have of me in your mind. Run through it. Run through it like a movie. I want you to think of me in your sorrowness. In your jealousy. In your madness. In your sadness.

 Hey there Bae, How are you? How is everything going on? Your parents? Your brothers? I hope all is well. Also can you please say hi from me to your niece and nephew. I miss playing with them. I bet they already forgot who i am by now, they have grown a lot.  How is your girlfriend also? I hope both of you are in a strong and well relationship, i hope nothing but the best.  If you ask me how i'm doing, i'm doing terrific. I am juggling between my online class and work also, but now thankfully i got the chance to be able to rest more at home. I've been working and going out everyday it gets tried sometimes but i love my job. I hope this online letter finds you well, i kept all your letters and gift too. It's still here.. and i still read it until now. I keep it in a very save box only for me to enjoy.  Truthfully speaking,  I miss you. I don't know as a past lover or as a friend but i miss you. It's been a long time since we chat or talking face to face. There

good night and good morning winter and summer fall and spring just like when the camellia sprung and the primrose rise good bye and good to see you words that we never say because if i do see you i'll never let you go away good evening and good afternoon like the north and the south as the west and the east or us when we have a conflict with a single notification on read good night and good morning to you and to me you're the past and i'm the future but together we're a dream

You have heard the common modern love story right?  Where the two pairs meet each other online, through an app or comment bar. I would have never guess it, but it came to me.  Never intended to do so, finding someone new was not the real intentions, studying about language and making relations was the goal.  But i guess there's a bonus to it. As i was fed up by the common small talk, i boldly ask him to do voice call.  I prefer to hear one voice. And in a few weeks, we clicked. What makes this memorable is we actually talk. Despite a lot of difference in ourself (especially pop-culture and humor wise) . It's a very interesting talk.  I intended the conversation first and then we kinda drove along the line there, going from one place to another. Sharing views of other perspective in the same topics, which is nice. It's like we we're sitting in a coffeeshop on 7pm evening just talking about life while sharing a plate of cheesecake. ahh i want to

let me get this straight. i am... a very easily bored person. That's why a lot of things interest me more than other people and i am thankful for that. I don't just wanna see the world from one perspective or always be boring. I hate being boring. I hate boring people. Instead of talking about how filthy rich your family are, talk about how your dad got to that place for the first time, how your dad worked his a$$ off to be able to be the king of his company, to be able to get you to this situation now. Talk about how cars work, talk about how washing machine works, talks about your view on politics, talks about your view on this certain film, talks about fun fact that i didn't know happen in a business world or medical world or law world. It's been like 3 month going to 4 month of this self quarantine in a Coronavirus pandemic situation. I can't lie i miss going out. Especially going to the cinema and library. I can't focus on my work and study insi

Originally wrote in 27 February 2020. ((Note. Try playing song called Chilly by Niki in the background)) Isn't it funny? How some songs or events or places could remind you of a person. Whatever it is good or bad. But memories just struck your system and flowing it with a bunch of old memories. That memories could be so painful that you just can't shake off that terrible feeling. & that memories also could be so beautiful that you try to remember it more. I don't even know where i am going at this point. Just making turns, stop, and neutral. My mind was going somewhere else. I am just glad i could drive safely without making accidents, It's been 2 years. and it's been 3 days since i can't stop thinking about it. I don't know if it's because of the fact that i am not in a great mind or the fact  that i am super lonely. I think i am. That's why i'm not thinking clearly. I rewind all the past memories we had of each other, and