2 years was enough.

Originally wrote in 27 February 2020.

((Note. Try playing song called Chilly by Niki in the background))

Isn't it funny? How some songs or events or places could remind you of a person.
Whatever it is good or bad.
But memories just struck your system and flowing it with a bunch of old memories.
That memories could be so painful that you just can't shake off that terrible feeling.
& that memories also could be so beautiful that you try to remember it more.
I don't even know where i am going at this point.
Just making turns, stop, and neutral.
My mind was going somewhere else.
I am just glad i could drive safely without making accidents,

It's been 2 years.
and it's been 3 days since i can't stop thinking about it.
I don't know if it's because of the fact that i am not in a great mind or the fact  that i am super lonely.
I think i am.
That's why i'm not thinking clearly.
I rewind all the past memories we had of each other, and can i just say... it was the most thrilling relationship.
The realest one i believe.

I am suddenly trapped in my own mind and went to this garden.
I keep looking at the flowers, but not glancing at the cactus beside it.
I guess it's true when people say "I miss it, but only miss the memories, not the person."

2 years.
2 years is enough to make me crazy.
To make me feel feelings i didn't know i have.
To still can make a me drop a tears today.
But when i look back today i was just so stupid and naive.
Looking back now it seems so funny yet dramatic, all the things i've done, all the things you've done it was just in the name of love.
The simple things that we sometimes tend to forgot.
The bigger things that we try to forgot.
It was like a dream.

Do you remember the time you bring me gift?
and that big box filled with photos and your card. But instead of thanking, i was stupid enough to call you back. Blame you for the things that i supposedly forgot.
Do you know?
To this day, that is the thing that still haunts me.
That i regret the most.

I did everything i could,
and you do too.
I appreciate everything you do even though i might not say it.
The sparks was real and strong.
It was the best 6 month of my life.
We we're crazy.
We we're dreaming.
We we're hallucinating.
But good things must come to an end.
And we both know this string that keeping us together are gonna torn by itself someday...
It's just not how it works.

So.. 2 years..
2 years was great.
2 years was miserable.
2 years was amazing.
2 years was awfully painful.
2 years was heartbreaking.
but in those 2 years i learnt a lot to shape who i am now.
2 years was enough.