Addict

 #np 23-25/12 Playlist

For once, i don't want it to be just in a dream. 

I don't want it to disappear when i woke up and only remember half of it.

That date,

That day,

That night,

i try to forgot all the reality that comes in my life, the consequences of the action.

the thoughts that been flowing on my mind lately.

I just want it to forgot, even for a bit.

I know i'm just jumping into the same hole. 

The same one like years years ago.

But now i'm more prepared. 

Even though i stumble.

Even though i ran through a rocks.

I could cry my way up and pull myself back up while smiling. 

As the darkness comes by, as if my alter ego has conquer me.

I began to seek for the journey.

It was my first time so i was just doing as i should be, following the lead.

I was always a curious person.

and people say i'm an ambitious person, but also full of adventure.

This is the adventure that i never experience before. 

I was hesitant for a bit to let out all of me, but how?

How could i not let it all out me? 

It was just like turning the pages,

Something inside of me come out,

A beautiful realization of the beauty in it. 

Should it be this addictive?

I'm addicted, something like an addict.

I finally learn something, 

A precious knowledge that will not be thought in any books.

An adventure for a lifetime.

A glamorous yet mysterious feeling. 

But now i'm truly afraid of myself.

If right now i should be more ambitious about things,

I want to achieve more dreams,

Wins in all goals,

and be more experimental.

I'm afraid i will become too ambitious,

that eventually my alter ego takes control of myself.

Because i know damn well,

i can control into such extent, 

i can hold myself back.

But i don't know for how many long.

Because it's this distinctive smell,

distinctive scent that keeps me going.

An addictive scent.