N . A

 here i am again,  crying, after i think about you and what would we be in the future. crying if we could ever meet again. crying because sometimes i can't take this anymore. i don't want to fear myself with you. i don't want to hide ourself. i don't want this relationship to just fade. it's like we're playing cats and dogs with the world. i want to shout to the world. hug you in the bridge where people could see us. i wanna know that we belong together. i want you to come by to my house and have a lunch with my family before picking me up. and i want to have dinner and chill conversation with your parents. but here i am again crying. because i'm such a loser. i'm a coward for not being able to be brave enough. to tell my parents about it to be frank with them. and just keeping my feelings all by myself. every time i think about it my heart shanked, shatter into pieces, eyes started swelling, pounding my chest as if it was already broken inside. "wh

  Let's talk about our future i said to him with a soft spoken voice with tears welled up in my eyes.  We would talk about how we wanted to live in a suburb part of the town. Away from the crowd but not too far. But still quiet enough for our cup of tea in the morning. We want to have enough garage for 4 of our cars. Our cats. Maybe even a rabbit if our garden is big enough. A room for his hobby. A room for my laptop and easel. A pool for the kids so they could bring their friends from school to come by and play at our house. Our house. That sounds very nice. A house filled with nothing but comfortable silence or late night chatting while playing Playstation at the living room. Talks about our day in the bed. Or playing nerf with our children. I cook while you clean. You drive and i navigate.  It's like sparks every time i think about it. It's like fireworks in my chest ready to sprung out the sky, my feet was pushing me like "let's go let's go, we can make it